Script improvement

Due to my privious script was hard to understand, our group members spent three days to improve my idea. And this is the first draft of our script, it is a combination of Ardi's idea and mine.



Script:
Characters: Emily, Emily’s sister
Scene one:
(Running Track)
Emily is standing on the racing track and looking forward (camera tracking around her, low angle)

Emily (V.O): My name is Emily, I am 24, and I am a relay race athlete. Five years ago I was almost dying….

Scene Two:
(Recollection)
Location: Ward

Emily is sitting on bed and reading her diary. Her tears drop down when seeing her pictures.

Emily (V/O): The unexpected diagnoses pushed me to the edge of death. I was suffering from the daily treatments. My doctor told me I had to wait for a new liver to live on. Because of the shortage of donors, I was like a canoe floating on the sea, and I had not idea when I can land. Both my family and me were despaired, the only thing always sustains me is my relay baton. I want to continue my life, I want to pass my baton on! But who can help me?

Emily feels painful, and her hand slowly moves to her liver position. She is weak and pale, she lies back and her diary drops off. She tries to approach her baton besides her.

Meanwhile, Emily’s sister opens the door and rushes in.

Sister: Emily! You have a new liver!

Emily looks at her sister, smiling.

An extreme close up on her eyes.
Scene Three
From her eyes, we can see the racing track.

Emily is smiling. She takes over the baton from her “Donor” and starts to run.

Emily(V.O): I don’t know who he is or even his name. He died in an accident and he was only 20. He passed his life to me, so I can keep running. I don’t know how far I can run, but I promise you my life saver, I will pass my life to the next person when I reach the end.
Scene Four:

Statistics:

Australia has one of the highest success rates in organ and tissue transplantation yet one of the lowest organ and tissue donation rates in the world.
Australias organ and tissue donation rate is approximately 10 donors per million of population most OECD countries have at least a 50% higher rate, some 100-200% higher.
There are currently 3,000 people (children and adults) on the official organ and tissue transplant waiting list in Australia waiting for a heart, kidney, lung, liver, pancreas or corneal transplant.
Of those waiting for a heart, lung or liver transplant, 20% will die before they receive one.
There are currently 8,000 people (children and adults) undergoing dialysis treatment in Australia. This number increases 6% each year. Only 1,500 make the official transplant waiting list for a kidney. Of those on the waiting list for a kidney the average wait is 4 years. It is considered futile to put the remaining 6,500 people on dialysis on the transplant waiting list as their chances of receiving a transplant would be very poor. There simply are not enough organ donors.
As many as 9 people can benefit from the organ and tissue donations of one person.
(Transplant Australia)

Scene Five:

Emily runs to us, passes her baton on…

Emily (V/O): I am an organ donor, are you?

END

Our campaign

In 2007, New release of advertisement coming soon...

It's a advertisement about Organ Donation, currently the idea will about Relay baton.
Organ Donation is a new campaign which is the cooperation of Media company Contact and Australian Healthy and Ageing department.

The media company "CONTACT" was estabilished in 2000 by Ardi, Faye, Jin and Shushu. The mission of Contact is "WE Contact..." we Contact everyone..contact the whole world.

Resently we cooperate with the Australian Healty and Ageing department to promote and encourge Australian young adults to register as a donator. The idea of the advertisement of mine is the relay baton, which means 'pass on your organ save lifes'. although, our slogan hasn't decide yet.

SCRIPT:

Charactors: Girl, Boy

Scene ONE
Location: Street
Boy and Girl pass on the street

Scene TWO

Location: Church

Girl parying in the church, suddently she fall down.

Scene THREE

Location: Hospital

(Ambulance Alarm)

The sickroom is dark and quiet...

Girl lie in a bed, pale and week. Her body is conneted by catheters with iatric machine, and beside her bed, her sister is holding a crucifix necklet and pary for girl.

Secene FOUR

Location: Running Track

Boy stand by on the running track, looks at the terminus, sweat drops, soon, he passes his baton to another person

(gun shoots)

Boy starts runing, and sweating.



Secene FIVE

Boy's Recollect

Location: anywhere

Boy standing and filling a register form, and circle "YES" under the question of "are you willing to be a donator" or similar questions.

Secene SIX

Location: Back to running track

Girl take over Boy's baton, and keep running

Secene SEVEN

Location: seats around the playground

Boy and Girl sitting and talking, they are so happy

Blur the secene, logo, slogan fade out

End